How to get over a friendship break-up - Ajit Patel Wellness, Ajit Patel UK

uoted by Msn Life and Style, "Whether your friendship grew apart or blew apart, it can be incredibly hard to get over losing the person you’ve laughed and cried with over the years. If you’re struggling with a friendship break-up, here are 10 ways to move on…

 

1. Write down how you feel

Never underestimate the power of pouring words onto a page. You may feel angry and confused, and writing it down can help you vent and make sense of things. When Paris Hilton famously broke up with then BFF Nicole Richie, she penned the song Jealousy, which included the lyrics: "I was always happy / When I was watching you become a star / But you were only happy / When the world was openin’ up the scars."

 

You may be tempted to fire off an angry email (or indeed release a song) – but don’t. Give yourself a few days to calm down first. If the friendship is definitely over for you, end it graciously. It’s better to be cool and polite than walk away simmering with bitterness, particularly if you are likely to cross paths in future.

 

2. Allow yourself to mourn

Don’t be surprised if the man in your life doesn’t understand why you are so upset about losing a friend. True, you weren’t planning to buy a house, have children and build a life together – but you did always expect her to be in it.

 

Give yourself permission to feel upset. As Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends, says: "Accept that the end of a friendship is an important loss, even though the person isn’t your sister, spouse or parent. Allow yourself to mourn, and then move on."

 

3. Get physical

Thump the pillows. Jump up and down. Go for a run. Physical activity will help discharge feelings of anger, as well as releasing feel-good endorphins and help ward off depression.

 

When you lose the person you usually confide in it can be hard knowing where to go with your emotions. Don’t keep things bottled up – talk to a trusted family member or friend. A brief course of counselling can also help. You may have to arrange it privately, but you and your happiness are worth investing in.

 

4. Pick yourself up

When a sexual partner rejects us it’s natural to feel insecure about our physical attraction. Likewise, when a good friend (who we thought knew us better than anyone) rejects us, it’s easy to question our worth as a person.

 

Losing a friend can be a huge knock to your confidence. While some self-reflection is healthy, obsessing over what you did (or didn’t do) and blaming yourself won’t help. Rather than dwell on the negatives, focus on the positive qualities you have and the good things in your life. Just because that person doesn’t want a friendship with you doesn’t mean that no one else ever will.

 

5. Don’t over-analyse

Women have a habit of over-analysing (often with friends and usually about men), but sometimes you have to accept that you will never understand what happened.

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